Living With HIV: Dating & Relationships
At the time of being diagnosed and coming to terms with it there were dates and you’d go on the first date and you know you might have some quirky funny things that you’d laugh about and then on the third date you’d go – by the way I’m HIV positive and then, then the texts stop or they are too busy, that virus it’s just too much of a risk, and what frustrates me is there is no risk, HIV positive guys that are on medication are not passing the virus on. I’m what’s referred to as undetectable so basically, my viral load is so minuscule, that the chances of me passing on the infection are extraordinarily low, if not no chance, and actually that beautiful guy at the bar who you go up to you and you ask are you positive or negative, and he says oh negative. Well he thinks he’s negative because he hasn’t been tested. That’s the man that will pass the virus on. After speaking on stage about being HIV positive a friend came up to me and put her arms around me, and was sort of shaking she said: ‘I’m gonna be with you to the end’, and she said: ‘when times get difficult’ ‘I’m gonna be there’ and her mascara was running and I said to her: ‘I’m not gonna die’. Life doesn’t end when you are diagnosed as HIV positive. That happened in the eighties. Now it’s just an extraordinary opportunity to live and reassess your life and move forward. It starts with me.